Entering Greater Reality

“Without your entrance to greater reality in this life, greater reality has no entrance to this life. The meaning of all of this life of yours isn’t as it appears. The meaning of this life is for greater reality to manifest through all the forms of this life.”     -John De Ruiter

I have pondered this quote at least 30 times. The most important point is if we do not allow this to occur within us then we will have missed why we are on this planet, what our existence is for. We will die with a sense of having lived an unfulfilled life, of having missed our own potential and realizing there is no one else who is responsible for us not having allowed greater reality to manifest through us. Personally, I cannot imagine a more desperate realization.

I used to try to expand, grow, and learn about my spiritual nature, but if I started to get uncomfortable, bumping up against myself or things I did not understand then I ran away from it. Most of my avoiding being uncomfortable had to do with experiences that occurred in my early 20’s that I had little frame of reference for like poltergeists, dead family members appearing to me in the middle of the night, intensely evil energy directed at me. Hence, for 25 years I learned only those things that felt good and were fairly superficial. I actually integrated very little of value and what I learned was hardly even useable. It left me ill-equipped to deal with major life issues, and I had to learn them the hard way.

In 1985, I began a long-term live-in relationship with my boyfriend. He was in the process of completing the last of 63 permits required by the state of California in order to get the required contract authorizing us to build two co-generation power plants. Everything was complete; we were just about to pay for the contract, and only one more meeting remained for funding from a major bank.

We stood to personally make $22,000,000 by 1990. The reality of my fantasy home with a circular driveway with tennis court looked like it was just around the corner. Well, he started having silent heart attacks, meaning heart attacks with no pain. We didn’t know what was happening. We thought he had food poisoning, and he blamed one heart attack on my coleslaw. He got weaker and weaker and finally had a treadmill test. During the test the doctor stopped it and sent him straight to the hospital for an emergency by-pass the next day. He was 40 years old. While on life-support he sustained some brain damage, and no one knew it. He was released from the hospital a week later.


He had a final appointment with the bank for funding 10 days after surgery and he insisted on going. He didn’t want to give them any reason for not funding the deal and said it was critical that he be there. So we put him together and drove to San Francisco. He just couldn’t hold the meeting together physically or mentally, and the whole thing fell apart. He never regained his mental aptitude and two weeks after that $22,000,000 went down the tubes and we were $100,000 in debt.

This was one of my great spiritual teachings. I just walked away from all expectations, no regrets, no remorse. The most important thing was what I was being in the midst of whatever happened. I simply let go of everything and lived in the question, “What is most profoundly important to me in this life?” “What is my life for that isn’t based on just this life, something that I can be now and here?”

There is a lot more to this story, but I discovered in this inquiry that it is impossible to serve two masters. Each of us has to make this choice: God or ego. We cannot be loyal to both because it causes an internal split, an abyss that is too deep and wide. The abyss cannot be bridged, although the ego would have us think so, for its own survival. The ego cares nothing for our best and highest interest. It would rather have us die a miserable death than give us one moment of true unabashed joy. It must be in control at all cost.

Some people never resolve this for themselves and life is then a struggle, no matter how well it seems to go on the surface there is always a sense of not quite getting life right. Something is missing. Being greater reality, giving all of our internal loyalty to it and fully integrating it into all our forms within cannot be crammed in at the last minute of our life—whenever that may be. It doesn’t work that way. Of course, every bit of work you do helps no matter when that is, but to fully integrate greater reality really takes something of us.

We are here to give it all power in us, so it is us and we are it. It then becomes indistinguishable from what we are at the core of our being, and we are then returned to what we first are, what we came from.

Everything we are aware of is in our care. We cannot pretend otherwise.

Love and peace....