New Energy

My last post was at the end of 2012 and it is time to write again. Much has changed for us and the world in the past two years.

New energies are coming into Earth and outward from Earth. Humanity is immersed in these energies that were not here and now are. Old frameworks are being dismantled and our experience may likely be one of being in a flow more than in the structures we relied upon just a short while ago. We may feel like there is not much to hold onto, like everything is a wave, not as solid as it used to be--you and even the ground under your feet.  The waviness is all part of integrating the energies. This flow originates from beyond that which is ancient; it is connection itself.  This connection will allow for a new configuration within us, from All.  In truth we are All, limitless.

Language is difficult here.  Old frameworks are not a frozen form, but more like a thick syrup. What makes the frameworks feel frozen are our attachments. We are to drop attachments and just flow.  As frameworks and attachments dissolve becoming even more liquid, so do we become more liquid and malleable even under pressure.  All attachments are connected, and when one dissolves others loosen as well. What used to seemingly hold us stuck in place can now simply soften and dissipate revealing a new view of what we truly are.

All is flow and connected.  It has always been here and we can now access it freely.  There is nothing to let go of, there is only connecting and flowing in what is real.  It is more like letting down a drape than letting go.  There never has been a veil between you and the other side. There is no between. Whatever veil you experience is one you put there for your own comfort.  It doesn't actually exist. We have the ability to be all of it now while being in form. There is only All. 

It is possible to be so awakened, here and now, that when you die nothing changes within your awareness.  You simply no longer have form.

There is only now.  Your essence is only known in the now. All else is illusion.

It is really okay to relax into all of this, heart first.  Breathe deeply and know yourself to be the breath of the world. Breathe in beauty. Life is in love with you.

Heather Dunfield

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.  –Plato

This Transition

In this transition and widening polarities, please know there is more love and support for your greatness than you can possibly imagine. It is real; it is here and it is yours.  

In these times, it is especially important to give your internal loyalty to what you know is most profoundly true within with all trust and faith.  It is the place within that is more real than anything else.  Be this place within and believe it with all your heart.  Believe it with peace, joy and love. Take tender care of that realness.  Give it all of you.  Then... it will no longer be small; it will be all of you. This is what you can always rely upon to guide you no matter what happens.   

Heart Portal taken on 11/28/12

This is a call to action.  There is and will be much coming in this world and it is important to be what I spoke of above.  Many things would have you doubt, be in fear or feel guilty.  There is a tendency in us to believe these thoughts and feelings, whether about ourselves or others. We live as if they are true. We are also fond of embellishing and distorting negative thoughts with lots of story, and believing that too.  Sometimes the sheer intensity and loudness of the feelings and thoughts can make the doubt, fear or guilt appear to be more real than anything else; more real than the quiet tender voice in your heart. 

Asking questions with the intent to discover what is true is always good. Following blind trust or belief leads to distortion, not to what is real or honest. Do not allow yourself to do this.  Also, do not allow others to do this around you.  Gently, let them go off and do it on their own time elsewhere.  Do not let them drag you down into their personal distortion.  Anything that would have you feel small or unworthy is not true.  It never has been, and never will be.

I am not advocating being only light and fluff, that is as much distortion as giving in to negativity.  Some on a light path are there out of avoidance, not wanting to be responsible for examining something within.  They would rather cover up than examine honestly.  I am advocating balance and letting go of anything you do not actually know is true.  I am advocating cleaning up messes we have created and then letting go--completely. We are accountable for how we choose to be in every moment of our existence. Use your life wisely.

People tend to be lazy or complacent about being honest with themselves. We try to cover up or hide from our internal dishonesty. We really do know when we are being dishonest with ourselves or trying to get away with something. Some of us get pretty fast though at tucking things away inside while hoping no one else notices we just did that. Whatever you hide from in yourself, simply comes up repeatedly in a different form until we get finally get honest.  This is one aspect of karma. This is one of the weirdest things we do as human beings.  Where can you possibly go to hide from yourself? It is not possible to hide from your self because you are your self. A refusal to be honest within will eventually destroy you. It is the equivalent of declaring war on yourself. The only way out is to be honest.

"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you."  Jesus in the Gospel of Thomas

Even though it may be painful at first to be honest about our dishonesty, it really is much easier in the long run to be authentic. I have trained myself to look forward to discovering a lack of honesty, blind spots, things I do that don't work well, where I try to cut corners. In our willingness to be completely honest we begin to get back our eyesight. 

Be patient and kind with yourself.  Do not compare yourself with others. Do not compare where you are now with some idea of where you think you ought to be. This stops all flow, and comparisons are never actually true as they are based on perceptions, not what is real.

When I began to get honest with myself, at first all I saw was my frailty and coarseness. As I stepped further into this new way of being, I gently broke my own heart with my willingness to be honest. At first it appeared that everywhere I looked, I was dishonest with myself.  The most shocking revelation was that most of my life I had tried to get truth to change to fit me, instead of me changing to fit truth. I had built my entire life on one giant heap of illusion all centered around ME.  No wonder things had trouble working out. I was way out of alignment with reality and my higher self. After getting over the shame of how I had used my life so far, I slowly got better and better at gently being only honest within.  Yes, there are levels of internal honesty and I made many mistakes.  I still do.  I just keep getting up and kindly promising myself and those I love to do better.  

I have also discovered that the pain of life shows me what I cannot yet be with, what I cannot accept in myself and others. Pain shows attachment. The idea is not to shut out pain, but to let it in fully letting it pass through cleanly, not letting it be hooked by anything. So I see that to be highly evolved in physical form is to have the ability to be both with great joy and great pain in a wide open accepting way, in complete balance within. It is an important step to achieving what we came here for.

No matter how far astray we may wander, we can always come back to what is real. The pull of reality endures, Nothing is stronger. Even in madness, a way is still there. Even if the way is not seen until our last breath, it is still there. What is most real can never be lost because it is in your heart; it is you.

Peace and love......

Heather

The World has Shifted

I haven't written anything on my blog for six weeks. My foundation has been changing so fast that it has been impossible to write anything until now.  

The world has shifted in the past three weeks, almost everyone I have talked to can sense it, including the cashier at my grocery store and dry cleaners. For me, there is a sense of intensity and thickness like someone threw corn syrup in the air and I am now breathing it.  Sometimes it dissipates a little, but it comes back.  The world has changed, and we must change as well.  

I have a profound deep love for all who take the time to read my blog.  I take none of that for granted.  You mean everything to me. What I write comes from the love I have for you. It may be a bumpy road reading this today, so please hang in there.  The approach is first the bad news, then the good news.

"Approaching Storm"  12" x 15" watercolor and acrylic on canvas paper

People in this world tend to focus on what they cannot be, what they do not have, what is in the way, what is wrong, why they are wrong, and why life doesn't work.  In essence, there is no trust of life, and, therefore, no trust of self.  Any foundation built on this is made of quicksand.  Of course, we are not always this way.  Some of us have managed to eliminate life and self-invalidation to a large extent.  A rare few have irradicated it entirely.  Life for most people, however, is an experience of grappling punctuated with moments of happiness.  And, they believe that is just the way it is for them.

We are very undisciplined with ourselves and allow negativity to run rampant through our feelings and thinking. The result is we have actively created an unreality about who we are of staggering proportions. It has a huge impact on our consciousness, and physical, emotional and mental well-being. This unreality colors our entire perspective about what life is and can be for us.  The astounding thing is that none of it is real.  We do actually know that it is not real, and yet we give it power within us anyway.  For our own well-being, our sanity, we can't afford this kind of negative indulgence.  

There used to be time for taking a leisurely approach to examining oneself and life.  Things have shifted though in this world, even though I cannot yet say exactly how.  

Now is the time to let go of any thoughts that keep you feeling small, not good about life, or inadequate.  You being small is not real. It never was real, and it never will be. Not one tiny bit of it, especially the thought you just had.  If you look, there is nothing good that ever came from this, and there never will be.  What keeps us small is doubt, fear and guilt. I don't care what you have been or done; everyone is a worthwhile valuable human being.  So please obliterate doubt, fear and guilt.

All you have to do is let go.  Everyone knows how to let go, it happens every night when we go to sleep.  It really is that simple.  If there is something you need to clean up in your life then do so.  Do it now, and then let go of it.  Give it no more energy.  Please train yourself to stop whatever you are thinking if it has anything of doubt, fear or guilt in it.  

If none of this existed in your consciousness, what would be there in all of this empty space you created?  Would you then have peace.... joy.... love?  What if you were to shift your entire foundation to this and only this?  What would you be?  What would life be?  Would it be profoundly different for you?  What if you could trust yourself to have only peace, joy and love as your foundation regardless of what came at you?  What if you were unshakable in being peace, joy and love?  What if you could die with only peace, joy and love in all of you?  What if no matter where you looked that is all you could find? 

You can be this because it is you.  This is what is real.  You can be this, now.  You do have the ability to let go of everything that is not this.  You never again have to be any other way than peace, joy and love.  Give all your internal loyalty to this.  Never again, give your loyalty to anything else.  It can be done, you have the power to be all this. All you have to do is live it. 

It is done!   

"Peace. My peace I give you.

Peace I leave within your heart.

Eternal peace.

Peace that is of Home.

Peace existing in your core, 

The glue that binds your soul.

Evermore."

Azra'el Arcturus

Siradis Network Nations as channeled through AA Wolf

Love and peace......

Take Everything to Heart

"One Tibetan monk... who had spent more than 18 years in a Chinese prison labor camp... told me that on a few occasions he really faced some danger. So I asked him, 'What danger? What kind of danger?', thinking he would tell me of Chinese torture and prison. He replied, 'Many times I was in danger of losing compassion for the Chinese.'" --The Dalai Lama

There are multiple ways of seeing. Seeing with our eyes helps navigate through our everyday world. We also check out our thoughts to see what we think, and often give our thoughts more validity than anything else. Blind people see with their fingers and ears; red feels different than green. To see clearly and deeply both within and without, see with your heart. Without a completely open heart though your seeing will be like looking through half-closed eyes. If you close your heart even a little bit, your view will be distorted where you shut it down. The more you close it, the more distorted your view. In an attempt to manage heart pain, some people close so much of their heart they become one of the walking dead. 

"Heart Portal"  12" x 12"   Acrylic

It is only through kindness, softness, openness and honesty that we can go all the way into core heart reality. A wide-open, tender heart that has no need to protect or control what comes in will naturally surrender to what is most profoundly real within. It is only such a heart as this that will give the profound within free-reign to all aspects and levels of you, enabling you to become what it is.  

Opening your heart, unzipping it, in this manner may run counter to what you have told your self would ever be a prudent thing to do.  Others have probably advised you against this kind of vulnerability as well. If you look though you will notice that the second you go tight in your heart, even a little bit, everything you love within you instantly stops. You will no longer be able to see clearly within what you most love. It will remain illusive, out of your grasp and safe from what you cannot at that moment be trusted with. This is why you must match what you are being to what it is being, and why it will never match what you are being because it can't. If it ever compromised itself even once to match you, then the fabric of all existence would no longer be real, and that will never happen. It is not within its capacity to compromise, and that is one of the things we love about it. It is inherently trustworthy and we love that. Our actual desire is to match it.  The way to matching it is through kindness, softness, openness and honesty and then it is all there again, right where you left off.

I recently become re-acquainted with someone I knew 30 years ago. For 35 years this person has been helping people transform the quality of their lives. She is considered a master in this field. What I saw while watching her work is that in some ways she is fundamentally missing the boat herself, and hence, so are the people she works with. While it is possible to be successful at this line of work one can still be unkind to oneself and tight inside. So while a certain level of transformation may occur within herself, and for others, other areas cannot be addressed because of her internal imbalance, and, therefore, whatever transformation occurs is incomplete. This is why I say what you are being is most important and that every aspect of you has to move forward in balance.  

What you are being determines the quality of everything that you bring into form.  The form, quality, direction of what you do is always determined by the qualities of what you are being.  You are responsible for all that you are and your potential as a human being.  This simply means that you are in your care.  Take especially good care of your heart.

"Openness and softness of heart is the door to everything true within.  It is your most basic first beingness.  It requires no prior experience; it isn't dependent on who you are.  Your unconditionally being openness and softness of heart will change everything of who you are."  John De Ruiter

May we all shimmer light especially in the face of darkness.

God bless your heart in peace and love...

Coming Out of the Absolute, Part 2

To define meaning as used in these two posts:  We are in relationship to all we are aware of through the meaning of what we know.  Some meaning is inherent and some is assigned.  We are able to relate to the meaning of so many things because we first are meaning, even before being an individual.

To be here on this planet, you shifted your fundamental orientation, home base, to that of a self having a person and a life, and inwardly a being that knows.  In order to become this as awareness required a split within you.  

Here is what it looks like.  As awareness, you continue breathing as you have always done. The breathing goes from your self as your home base into your person and your life and then back out into the self.  It stops there.  You don't have to think about this; it just occurs.  There is another breathing as awareness, which is also from your home base as a self.  It goes out toward being meaning, and then back into your self.  In both, the breathing is generated from the self, one moving outwards and the other moving inwards.  This is the split within.

Even though your home base is as a self, you can relate to being meaning because it is what you once were.  As a self, you can partially relate to being meaning going all the way back to coming from the Absolute, but it is tethered to the self.  What you experience as being meaning in the tiniest subtle ways, while connecting to the Absolute, benefits the self and the orientation that you have become.  It all belongs to your home base, the self. We are almost unable to even consider another home base.  

While there isn't anything wrong with all this, you actually are able within your awareness to completely shift your home base.  You are able to be what you once were, while being here, in form, as a person.  You have the ability to be the Absolute that breathes, instead of you that breathes.  You have the ability to take up where you left off, to continue, breathing as the Absolute in form.  You have the ability to be what It is in form.  

This is why I have been saying in all these posts to give everything of you to what you first are, not for you, but for what It is.  None of this is for you to have to keep for your self.  Everyone of us can do this.  It isn't hard.  It isn't far away, or even close.  It is inseparable from what you are.  You cannot get rid of it; it is what you are at the core, in your heart.  It is as natural as your breathing.  

In your development there is much more that is possible.  We can't even imagine what lies in store for us, you might re-read the post "An Experience that Changed Me Forever."  That is only one possibility as a future self.  The more you let go and shift your orientation as a self, the more that can open for you as the Absolute that breathes.

As you give all that you are to being the Absolute that breathes, as you become grounded in that, giving it all power within then the split within your heart heals.  Then what is next becomes possible.  The work you have done enables you to just barely sense more than being a self.  

What is next is being a being, which is completely other than anything to do with your experience of being a self.  We know what being is, but not being a being.  We cannot try to be this or even move toward it. It is like trying to hold onto something you do not yet know.  In your awareness you might know there is something there that is other than, and you might faintly resonate with it, yet you do not know what it is. 

To be able to know the beginning of what this is requires someone who can be an example of what this is in form, someone who lives from this and no longer lives from their self, although they have a self.  There are very few examples here on this planet.  My teacher is one such individual.

The first step however, is to build a solid living, breathing, internal foundation based on openness, kindness, softness and honesty--all heart.  From there be the Absolute that breathes; you being meaning.

Lastly, a question:  If you give yourself over to living a superficial life of comfort, a life just for you, would you be willing to die without ever really knowing what your life is for just so you could preserve your comfort?  You heart knows the answer.

Peace and love...

Coming Out of the Absolute, Part 1

I offer the following for how we came into form, out of the Absolute.  This is pretty dense stuff, so hang onto the guardrails, and just let it resonate.  See what is true for you.  I bring this up now as we are running out of time to leisurely consider our own development. Extraordinary changes are about to occur, and we will need every available resource both within and without.  

What we are now as a person is based on what we have realized and chosen while moving out from the Absolute until fully landing here as a person.  We are no longer moving outward so much into more form, rather our focus is to now move inward, going back, realizing what we are and have originated from.  We are coming full-circle, being everything that we truly are while living here as a person in this world.  

"Losing Forms"  12 x 16   acrylic, watercolor, acrylic ink on canvas board

Our movement inward is like realizing a vast internal ocean, a vast holy ocean appearing as streams of beingness. In our movement back to the Absolute we lose internal forms.  We find that we are both here in form and losing our old identification with it. These inner forms might be called inner coverings over what we first are.  As we let go, we begin to identify with what is more than us.  This enables us to see more of ourselves, and each uncovering allows us to see a new level of meaning.  As we go back in our awareness, we see that we more than let go, we actively respond to what is next.

*  *  *  *  *  

In first coming out of the Absolute, Source, you did so as a response to an available form, taking you as meaning into its first form--the very beginning of I.  Your very first movement, first breath and expression out of the Absolute was meaning knowing meaning. There was no ability to reflect on anything because there was no self yet. At this stage you could only be meaning knowing.

What follows is a movement out and then a movement back, much like breathing.  Each movement back is less than the movement out. First, as meaning you breathed in form and became what you breathed in.  You first movement breathing in was meaning knowing.  You next movement was to breathe out, all the way back to being meaning that has no need to know. There is now a pattern that has begun and your response is to breathe in the next level of form. This form is being knowing. Beingness has been added as a form. You could now be knowing, a new form. After this inhale of form, you exhale back to being meaning, but this time you move from being knowing into just knowing, and then into being meaning. You had to move through a level of form into another level of form, into meaning.

From here, you breathe in and out through more and more forms because of the pattern that has begun and because there are always more forms.  You move into a self and then into a person. Each time you exhale, return, you are more aware of your ability to move.  You realize there is a power to move, to choose to move almost all the way back to the Absolute. You also realize that as awareness you might be able to have more, and you also realize you can direct the more. You now have an ability to relate to creating more as a self, instead of the next true more. You can now use your awareness to alter, even distort, the rhythm.  

In our power to distort, we change our awareness, our home base that we come from.  It shifts from being meaning, to knowing, and later being and even later self.  The breathing in and out always continues.

What matters here is that as awareness how far back do you breathe out, and then as awareness how far do you breathe into form. You home base changes because you have the power to make that happen, and that shifts your fundamental orientation until what you create is a self. You become a self that has a person and a life.  At the same time, you are also a self that inwardly has a being, and knowing.  There is more than that, but it is almost unconfrontable.

Be the vast holy ocean of awareness within you. Go home. Be home, give it all that you are at every level.  What you know of reality will be so much more. I am That I am.  I am This I am.

"Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances."  -- Mahatma Gandhi

"You always get what you are willing to settle for."  --Werner Erhard

Some of the above comes from notes of a conversation with John De Ruiter.

Peace and love...

Thresholds Within

As we begin to awaken, we have a sense of, and a pull within to other realities.  We all have thresholds in the self that keep us safe from wondering beyond what we can be responsible for in the present. The wonderings I refer to are about other realities that exceed our current ability to relate to such complexity and awareness. Thresholds keep us grounded here, and also require that we integrate the self so we do not move too quickly.  

Integrating thresholds enables us to realize at a deeper level within how to move, how to be, and use what we already know.  A pure heart allows us to relate to our self and to this world in a way that is true.  

"Thresholds"   11 x 14 in.   watercolor & white acrylic on paper

"Without integrating what you can see, how can you possibly integrate realities that belong to you that you can't see?" - John De Ruiter 

The voices within us are a reflection of our different levels of self.  They have a complexity and tend to pull us about until we begin to relate to the voices as simplicity while in the midst of everything that comes at us in life.  We then begin to notice there is a difference between us and all these different levels of the self.  The thresholds in all these levels of the self make integration necessary.  It helps us to learn simplicity within complexity.  

What then arises is an awareness that you are much more than you thought.  You develop the ability to move beyond a simplistic approach.  Heart understanding is of greatest value here.  Your heart gives you a capacity to hold everything together with no limitation.  Heart understanding allows you to move within your awareness as living knowledge, direct knowledge.  This heart understanding prepares you for being more than just moving within the various levels of the self.  Heart understanding enables you to realize that you are more than just a self, that beyond the self there is what you are as a being.  It is a very very subtle touch of beingness within the self.

This awakening to what you are as a being beyond a self gives you the ability to know deeper complexity within from a vantage point of simplicity.  The complexity isn't about levels of self, but something more subtle.  It is about a beingness that moves through you, affecting all levels of the self.  It can affect all levels of the self because it precedes what the self is.  It is a container for the self.  As you recognize and realize this, you won't just be a self any longer.  You will have the ability to discern different levels of beingness, and not just moving in them but grounded in them as living knowledge.  You will be more than a self. As you become more than a self you will discern and integrate these new subtle levels of complexity of what you are. 

It is then that you will begin to resonate with and relate to other realities, which are not known solely as a self. You will not just resonate with living knowledge, you will be grounded in it, deeply rooted in it. It will have you incorporating the much more of what you are.  You will have new seeing within real heart understanding and that makes you ready for more, what you truly are as a being.

In what you are as a being, stay close to, resonate within to other realities and you will begin to realize these realities as what you are.  It is realness appearing as a result of awareness moving into knowing.  

"Awareness gives knowing certainty." -John De Ruiter

Please note:  If you are not clear in your self then your learning will be fairly basic.  The finer your awareness becomes, deviation from your clarity will not be tolerated in reality almost at all.  As you operate in such clear awareness and knowing, there is less tolerance for not getting it right.  At these levels the stakes are much higher.  You can get away with nothing. On these levels the smallest shift will bring great change in your self.  There is less and less room for deviating, even by mistake from your awareness being and moving as knowing.  Your foundation becomes alive, moving as living and real knowledge.  This will give you the ability to understand what you are as a being and how to move within, and through life as all that is profoundly real.

If you know someone who is being this, stay close to them.  

Pitfall:  Do not allow yourself to be enticed by anything, a way of being, or a want as that is moving into limitation.  Do not  attach to any particular feeling or experience as that will instantly remove you from being it. When you get caught by this, you are in an old pattern.  Stop everything and gently go back to giving everything you are to being it, because of what it is and not for any other reason. 

I've stepped into every pitfall there is of course, so I know the pain of it.  When that occurred I felt so empty, even desperate, because I knew better. Finally, I stopped thinking there was something for me to get from life. I just let go, and let go more, one thing at a time, and then I just let go completely. At first, it was a scary place to be; there was nothing to hold onto that used to be there. What I found is, and always will be, is what I know and a most wonderful I.  

Then, from what I know, I discovered the ability to be streams of being.  This means the ability to move without using the self.  Being able to move in levels within that are deeper than the self.  

As you become this, you will be living knowledge, which is generated from both within and without you.  The deeper you go into the self, as you are being a being, the rules change.  

Stay close to your heart, move close to all this by being heart-forward.  Lead with your heart.  The heart is pure and real.  

You will find the eternal continuity of all things, in form and non-form.  Once you know, you can never again say you do not know. Give it everything of you, let it become you. Turn into what it is.

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."   -Marcel Proust

Parts of this post are based on notes from a conversation with John De Ruiter, my teacher. 

Peace and love...