Glimpses Into the Future

We all get glimpses into a possible us, what we can be and do in this life.  These glimpses are like a lighthouse beacon in the dark reminding us to pay attention and take good care of what we are. With life shouting for our immediate attention we can dismiss these glimpses, but they always come back. They cannot leave because they are us in this life. Most would say these glimpses resonate in their heart. They get our attention and we are likely to remember them far into our future. They are an invitation to be, and as such have a realness different from our normal way of seeing. We may not understand what it all means or might entail, but they get our interest in uncommon ways. They indicate something we are to accomplish. We all have these and it shows as a pull or drive toward something asking to be fulfilled. They will either be realized or not; it is our choice.

"Deep Life" 8 x 10 inches acrylic on paper

This is different than healing the mis-perception that we can be separate from God. It is different than deeply and intimately giving all that we are at every level to God within and staying there. However, this oneness with God is the prerequisite for manifesting in form what you truly are to be and do, enabling you to shine forth in ways not yet imagined. This is not to say that before oneness with God within we do not manifest aspects of what we are here for, we do, in fact we cannot help it. But to fully be and then do, you must first surrender to what you first are within. There can be no ego in this, or you will be like someone running whose one foot is nailed to the floor. There is movement and it might even feel like there is momentum, but are you really going anywhere?

 When I was 16 years old, I had a most disconcerting realization. I saw that what I was here to accomplish would not happen until I was old and fairly wrinkled. I tried ignoring the thought.  I tried to say it was a lie, but it just would not change or go away. The kinds of questions I asked myself were, "Assuming this is true, what do I do with my life between now and then? Am I really supposed to wait around my whole life for something to happen that I am not even sure what it is? What if it doesn't happen, will I have wasted my life because I should have been doing something else? What if I don't recognize it when it finally arrives? What if I get old and then don't care about it?

 So, here I am at age 63 never having spoken about this to anyone until about two years ago. It is only in hindsight that I can see a direction in my life towards something I've always known.  I also see both the wayward off-track movements, and the clear choices supporting what I needed for growth and development in my character and being. There has been pain, fear and joy just like everyone else's life, but I never gave up on what I saw when I was 16.

As I got older though I knew I was missing key elements in my self-awareness. My foundation was incomplete, but I didn't know exactly what was missing. I couldn't see it because I had become controlling, tight inside, self-important (when you don't know who you are, it has to be covered up that you don't know who you are). I had ways of being that I just didn't need, but in my blindness I didn't know that. I didn't know it was okay to be vulnerable, soft, open, kind and core-splittingly honest, patient and humble.  It took 10 years with my teacher to let go, and then let go more. The letting go never stops.

 It is a strange experience to know that whatever is occurring as my life is just "grist for the mill", an aspect of whatever I need to be prepared for in what is to come. I have spent 55 years in this space. I have tried to be a good student of life and am honored to do my small part. Interestingly, I still don't know exactly what my small part is, except writing this blog is a part of it. I'm just still paying attention.

 It seems appropriate to tell you about a dream I had about 18 years ago. It begins 29,000 years in the future on this planet. I'm facing three beings living here. Everything is grayed out behind them so I cannot see it. They said one sentence to me. "The time in which you live you are not remembered for what what you did to each other, but for whom you are trying to become." This has been a awesome message of hope for me, that it all turns out even though it looks very bleak when we treat each other so badly and treat our planet so badly.

I was allowed to see one thing because it couldn't be helped. We shimmer around the edges and have lost some mass because we have learned to photosynthesize, get nutrition from light. We literally become light beings.

 ... fundamentally, most people want to remain separate and in control. Simply put, most people want to keep dreaming that they are special, unique, and separate... more than they want to wake up to the perfect unity of an Unknown which leaves no room for any separation from the whole. --Adyashanti

 There is no longer a mind, so-to-speak.
There is no longer a you or a me.
There is no longer a universe or a world.
There is no longer a question of liberation.
There is no longer a question.

For there is no one left to ask a question.
There is no one left to have an experience.
There is no one left to see the world.
There is no one left to have a problem.
You become an embodiment of total joy.
You actually do not become an embodiment of total joy because you never existed.
Total joy just is.
It isn't this and it isn't that.
It just is. --Robert Adams

Peace and love...